ABOUT SHORT AND SOUR.

     That last post was a bit of an experiment.  I suspect the reader would think I was distraught over something and therefore was lashing out because of it.  Actually, the first sentence was real to me.  I have heard and seen so much indecency this past week that I really felt that way.  The second sentence was complete nonsense but it seemed like a very angry response.  It was almost like I was trying on a suit that was one size too large.  But it was real in the sense that I do feel like there is too much shouting going on and not enough listening.  And, in my experience, a lot of listening happens when people are seated at tables.  That's all.

SHORT AND SOUR.

I was going to take the high road but found out it was washed away by a flood of indecency.  Please come back to the table when you're actually ready to sit down at the table.

AN UPDATE AND AN APOLOGY.

     In my last post, I was so busy lamenting the absence of a Best Comedy Series Nominee for "Last Man On Earth" that I forgot to mention that Will Forte was indeed nominated for Best Actor in a Comedy Series on that show.  Congratulations Mr. Forte!  And sorry about my snub!  Carry on.

A LITTLE DITTY 'BOUT AN EMMY SNUB.

     I understand why some people and shows did not receive Emmy nominations.  Stephen Colbert is an extremely talented performer but I have yet to see much evidence of this on his late night talk show.  He recently told his audience a funny and heartwarming tale of the first time he met what is now his wife.  Problem is, it wasn't on any show.  It was Colbert answering an audience member's question during a pre-show crowd warm up session.  Fans of his previous show have been waiting to see and hear the real Stephen Colbert but, for some strange reason, we are only allowed brief glimpses here and there on his current show.
     However, the snub I am referring to is Fox's "Last Man On Earth."  Starring Will Forte, it takes place a few years after a horrible virus has destroyed the entire population except Forte's Phil Tandy.....or maybe not.  I never know what's going to happen next and sometimes its hilarious and sometimes its sad.  But never, ever boring.  What I do know is that there's nothing else like it on television right now.  But guess what?  It's not shocking.  It's not even close to provocative.  It's certainly not vulgar, unless you count a couple dozen 'Oh Farts!' being uttered every season.  And therein lies the rub and thus the snub.
     What show or actor (or writer) do think got snubbed by Mr. Emmy this year?

IT WAS 13 YEARS AGO TODAY....

     It was thirteen years ago today that I finally (at age 31) entered my 1st and (so far) only LTR with someone.  I'm talking about a Long Term Relationship (which was also long distance) here.  Bonus points for anyone who knows if 4 months actually counts as a LTR.  Even more baffling to me, we were friends for around 6 months about 2 years earlier.  Even though the courting came to an abrupt end (I believe I was, and still am, the guilty party), it was a euphoric experience that I will never forget.  My heartbeat actually had a different type of rhythm during that stretch of time.  No lie.

BINGE. PURGE. REGRET.

     I don't know if it was Don King who coined the term 'Only In America!', but the man sure said it quite often.  This phrase could also be used to describe this country's strange fascination in doing things that we know aren't healthy but still do them in the hopes of fitting in with the trendy crowd.  It seems that for some of us, peer pressure doesn't really end until you're dead.  And even then, you might be ostracized from the afterlife if you're not buried exactly six feet under like everyone else.
     If you're a TV watcher and especially if you're a Netflix subscriber, the really popular thing is to 'binge watch' your favorite TV programs.  I guess you could also 'binge' on a program you couldn't stand but I really don't see the point.  Netflix and other similar services will make all episodes of a certain program available for viewing at one time.  This means a person could spend (or waste) a dozen or so hours watching all episodes of their favorite show at once.  I could rationally see someone doing this if they were stuck indoors because of a blizzard or some other reason that you couldn't leave the house.  Being ill would also seem acceptable here.  But anything else?  Choosing to ignore your spouse and/or kids?  Choosing to procrastinate cleaning your 'something'?  Choosing to back out of some previously scheduled 'anything'?  I see an unwise pattern developing.
     Personally,  I don't belong to any of these types of subscription services but I have bought box sets of an entire six season series.  Even then, I can only watch two or three episodes before I'm 'episodically exhausted' and feel the need to move on to some other form of activity.  That thing I said before about moderation.....I meant that!  Is a human being doing something sensible now akin to Superman freebasing Kryptonite?
     I know that the days of standing around the watercooler at work and chatting about the previous evening's episode of "Knot's Landing" are gone but I'll always be one to believe that common sense never goes out of style.

THEY SAY YOU NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST: A PRELUDE TO MY TWO SHITS WORTH

     It was the Summer of 1983 and our family decided to take a trip to Yellowstone National Park.  Even then as an 11 year old boy, I knew it was completely insane to try to take a picture of yourself right next to an antelope or invite a bear into your station wagon to dry off from a nasty summer rainstorm.  Still, we all wanted to at least observe some animals in their natural habitat.  And so we went.
     On the first night, our family stayed in some trash can masquerading as a motel.   While everyone else was tired and went to bed early,  I stayed up scanning the motels' TV set to see if there were any channels they got and our sleepily out of touch town didn't get.  Now you're probably thinking to yourself, 'this prepubescent lump is searching for the channels with the naked people making the flippy-floppy.'  And you would be wrong.  As a young music fan,  I was searching for something called MTV.  This was when they played music videos 24/7.  The network actually started out on rural cable lineups first to test the waters before expanding to the larger cities.  Believe it or not, my hometown would not get MTV on cable until around 1995.  By that time, the party was OVER!
     But in 1983, it was still paradise for a wide-eyed American pre-teen.  After watching videos for about two hours, I went to bed as well.  The next morning as everyone was getting ready to go over to the motel coffee shop for breakfast, I faked a stomach ache to get out of eating.  As soon as my family was safely out of sight, I hopped into bed and turned the set back on to MTV again.  It was great!  No one could bother me with their gargling or hair dryers.  Just music.....with pictures!
    And then something happened and I would never be the same again.  A music video a brand new song called "One Thing Leads To Another" by a band called The Fixx appeared on the screen.  What was this strange but danceable sound I was hearing?  What were these bizarre images I was seeing?  Why was there a man walking down a large tube making weird hand gestures while dogs seemed to be chasing him?  I had never see anything remotely like it.  But something about it immediately appealed to me.  This band appeared to be from another planet as far as I was concerned.  Even in 1983,  I felt like I was from another planet. An anomaly.  Maybe that was the connection.
     As the following months turned into years and then into decades,  this 11 year old trapped in a 44 year old's body is still very much in love with the music The Fixx are making.  I think I have every song they've recorded.  If not, I know I have at least HEARD every song they've recorded by visiting their official site, fansites and YouTube.  Their classic 1980s music is a time capsule of what was happening in the world, especially the idea of a possible World War III with nuclear ramifications.  Their lyrics told me it was okay to be afraid of this possibility but also to speak your mind if you didn't like what was happening around you and that it was your birthright to question authority.  I still have this mindset today even though my priorities have changed a bit.  I can't say this for sure, but I'm willing to bet that the kids my age who have been listening to Def Leppard all this time can't make these type of claims.
     By the way, I finally did make some time to see some awesome animals that Summer!