IN OUR POLARIZED CONSTITUENCY.....

    

In today's political and cultural climate there are two types of people:  the toilet trainers and the toilet trainees.  Without sounding too glib, I would like to wish all of you a mostly dry new year.

EVER FALLEN IN LOVE (WITH A BAND YOU SHOULDN'T'VE) ?

    

Pete Shelley died a few days ago of a heart attack.  From what I've seen and read Shelley was not into drugs or alcohol and so I doubt that had to do anything with his untimely demise at age 63.  Even though he wrote songs like "Totally From The Heart", I understand he had recently married and was very happy so dying of a broken heart would be a stretch although broken hearts of all kinds figured into most of his songs.
     I am a huge Buzzcocks fan.  They took the theme of the awkward part of love and romance and sex and turned it into an art form.  Nothing about young love was easy for Pete and he channeled it straight into his lyrics with songs like "What Do I Get", "I Don't Know What To Do With My Life" and of course their signature tune "Ever Fallen In Love?" The idea that the music was made for adolescents (you know; the youngsters) is to sell this music short.  These songs would make for a great midlife crisis mixtape stuck in a '89 Camaro.
     His solo work was much more complicated and sometimes not the most hummable music but, then again, that's why he made it by himself.  When bisexuality was not a subject for a pop song in 1981, he came out with "Homosapien" to break down that barrier.
     The Buzzcocks were a punk band in the way they operated as a band with a very strong DIY ethic.
Mohawks and safety pins were for other guys.  These fellas wore whatever they liked whenever they liked.  One of their last songs, "I Believe", is a manifesto that foreshadowed the original breakup of the band as well as Shelley declaring 'I believe in my Mum and my Dad' before repeatedly chanting 'There is no love in this world anymore!" before his voice breaks off into the void.  Was he serious?
Maybe.  Or just maybe 'this world' meant the Buzzcocks band was over and that he would soon go it alone.  He wouldn't have to jump into the real world alone. It just felt like it.  Pete was always telling you how he was feeling.  No abstract storytelling or metaphors here.  Just pure and simple words totally from his heart.















fgggSdg

MY TWO SHITS WORTH: EPISODE ELEVEN

RE: RHETORIC AS THE CAUSE OF DEATH

    

It's happening.  It's been happening forever but only when it hits home do we really care.  Self absorption takes its toll in bodybags.  We mourn and speak out for a time but then quickly turn back to our self induced distractions for comfort.  The human head feels much warmer in the sand, I guess.  Is the stock market up or down?  Should I buy or sell?  What celebrity hates another celebrity?  Will it go 'viral?  'Do we realize that going 'viral' shouldn't be something that we ought to be trying to achieve as it 'infects' our attention to what actually should be important to us all?
     As I've said, this fear of what we do not know or even try to understand has been occurring since the beginning of time.  Scapegoats for why we fail are very easy to find.  It's who and what we can comfortably live with that seems to be the most difficult thing to dissect.
     I don't talk to my neighbors.  Where I live, neighbors come and go every month.  No excuse.  I'm a somewhat shy person.  No excuse.  I don't have time to make conversation with a stranger.  No excuse. Maybe I don't want to find out how much different I am than they are and vice versa.  No excuse.   I suspect I'm not the only one with a kindness deficiency.  Deficiency is described as a lack or shortage of something.  It doesn't mean I have no kindness.  It means my kindness extends only to a certain point and then it ceases to exist.  An end to something always seems sad, doesn't it?  Can I turn that existential frown upside down?  Can I give an inch and not give a damn if someone else takes a mile?  Can I not only see and listen but attempt to really understand someone's opposing viewpoint without feeling it will forever damage my code of conduct?   Comfort zones are called as such for a reason, you know.  Fear of the unknown is just waiting for us right outside that space.
     Is that something we can live or die with?  I know for a fact that a bodybag with our name on it is waiting for all of us.  Maybe the real question is how fast are we eager to fill it?  Happy Halloween.

MY TWO SHITS WORTH: EPISODE TEN

 

  When is a 20th anniversary something not to celebrate?  Twenty years since I started freebasing?  Twenty years since my wife took her vow of celibacy?  Twenty years since that guy on the subway took a leak on me?
     Regular readers (all three of them) know how seriously I take music.  In the late 1980s both mainstream Rock and Country music were in a creative funk.   You know, the same thing over and over again.  If you were a record executive, the formulaic types of there genres were still selling but that's mainly because you forced us to repurchase our favorite music on a different format and then you made that format more expensive to own.  And you were laughing all the way to your cocaine dealer.  It's no surprise that long standing artists like The Moody Blues, The Rolling Stones, Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash dropped off their respective Top 40 singles charts after 1990.
     In Country's case, Garth Brooks showed up around 1989 with his high octane arena-ready brand of music and pretty much destroyed any type of artist still using pedal steel guitar and singing tear-in-my-beer lyrics.  This genre of music hasn't changed much then mainly because Mr. Brooks' music was pretty darn profitable (over 100 million albums sold) even though industry insiders have been warning us of a traditional country comeback for over 20 years now.
    Rock music got a one-two punch in Nirvana and Pearl Jam in 1991; pushing alternative rock right into the mainstream.  However, with the exception of Pearl Jam, most of these modern rock stars either burned out or faded away by the end of the decade.  This meant change once again on Top 40 radio and pretty much anything but modern rock replaced it.
     One genre was teenybopper pop, a category thought driven into the ground in the 1970s by just about every Osmond who ever made a record. But much like the graveyard below the Freeling house in 'Poltergeist', it wasn't.  Boy bands like Backstreet Boys and N'Sync popped up, seemingly out of nowhere, and took radio by storm.  Where were the girls?  Yes, Christina Aguilera was there but the first to the charts was Britney Spears whose debut song "Baby One More Time" is celebrating its 20th anniversary this week with many music critics lauding this debut as the beginning of more mature sounding teen-pop.  Does anyone else see this as a contradiction in terms?  Certainly not the Spears family who rushed their oldest daughter into showbiz at an early age and obviously didn't see anything wrong with the title song's creepy video and lyrics sang by someone not even eighteen yet at the same time espousing her strong Christian beliefs.  I understand Christians are not all prudes but the song and the video were and still are borderline child porn.
     I'm willing to overlook the fact that the image and music were completely manufactured from the ground up.  Spears, Aguilera and Justin Timberlake were all being groomed for stardom as members of the late 80s version of the Mickey Mouse Club.  Ms. Spears sang the songs pretty much like anyone on karaoke night would as she did not write a single note or word of the song (or anything on the album which would appear in early 1999).  I'm willing to overlook the fact that her voice was nothing special compared to the vocal stylings of Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey.  But the way she 'delivered' the songs would have been more understandable coming from them than from someone who most likely had to be taught how to properly 'shake her groove thing.'  Just plain embarrassing.  I remember seeing pre-teens everywhere dressing up (or, more precisely, down) like her as these young girls were obviously voicing their support of female empowerment, not realizing their fearless leader was slowly headed for a self imposed mental breakdown.  I honestly don't remember Gloria Steinem doing this.  Of course, I don't remember Gloria's parents shoving her into showbiz as a toddler either.  As the late, great Tom Petty once said 'as we celebrate mediocrity all the boys upstairs want to see how much you'll pay for what you used to get for free.'  'Nuff said.

ANOTHER BRIEF THOUGHT

   

  In my opinion, technology can be a fickle mistress.  It can improve some areas of our lives while simultaneously making other areas more difficult.
      I've noticed how retailers (you know, the brick and mortar variety) are offering special discounts to people who have smartphones.  I suppose it's just another ruse to collect your personal data but the these offers feel a bit cruel to me.  I know a majority of people have smartphones now (I don't) but it seems to me that the ones who do not have them are exactly the ones who could benefit from these type of deals that are being offered.
    Not so long ago, people were complaining about not being able to get special discounts on items at the local grocery store because they refused to give out their personal info in order to get a 'savings 'card.  Today, people are willing to do almost anything to get a discount, even if it means forking over their entire life history to some faceless machine.  Have we become so desensitized or manipulated that we are accepting things we used to deny because they come gift wrapped prettier now?  I still don't find pigs attractive; even with an extra coat of lipstick.

REL: MY REVIEW

  

  Okay, I'm still upset about the way 'The Carmichael Show' got mistreated and then cancelled by NBC but now I do have some reason to rejoice.  Lil Rel Howery was Jarrod's brother in that show and now Rel has his own show (although Carmichael and most of the other creative team is behind this one too).
     Rel is a Chicago nurse whose wife and kids left him after he finds out that she had an affair with his barber.  Jessica Moore is his fast talking know-it-all sister.  Jordan L. Jones plays Rel's sweet but dim-witted brother who just got out of jail and Sinbad is their tough but caring father.
     The preview episode on Sept. 9 had Howery laughed at by everyone about his unfortunate situation with his wife and kids and the fact that the barber was the guy seeing Rel's wife behind his back.
     The family's outrageously dressed pastor (also played by Howery) even fashions his sermon around Rel's problems.
     Rel is definitely the sad sack underdog of this show but it isn't a mean spirited type of sitcom because the has family tries to help him even if their suggestions are comically way out of place.  The laugh track might need to be toned down just a bit on this multi-camera comedy and maybe we will see some workplace antics later on but for now it's just a nice funny show.  And that's saying a lot considering most of the dreck that's out there.
My grade: B

MY PBS PROGRAMMING ODYSSEY

    

This is a minor inconvenience but I must protest anyway.  On August 21, 2018 PBS will be premiering a new Pioneers Of Television special entitled "Betty White: First Lady Of Comedy."  I'm certainly not disputing the title as she has been a part of television since 1949 and was first nominated for an Emmy as early as 1951 and most recently as 2011.  Betty White = Perfect.
     However, when I checked my local Montana PBS schedule, it was nowhere to be found.  I thought there must be some kind of mistake.   I kept looking all over the interwebs for something besides glowing reviews of the programs but finally gave up and called Montana PBS in Missoula.
     I spoke to a very nice gentleman who informed me that most PBS stations have five pledge drives per year.  This special happens to be exclusively for pledge drives this month.  Montana PBS only has two pledge drives per year and the next one is in November.  He explained that the special will most likely air at that time.  Furthermore, at some point the special will become 'non-exclusive' which means Montana PBS will be able to air it whenever they see fit to do so.  However, National PBS will decide when this occurs.  
     Confused?  You won't be after this week's episode of Soap.  Wait. Wrong show and subject.  Sorry about that.  I'm still sure you (and I) may be confused about how PBS operates and I suspect that the confusion is entirely intentional.  The P in PBS stands for public.  This means that viewers like you donate money to keep the programs on the air.  Thank you.  Of course, our government subsidizes a large portion of the national budget to assist as well.  And one must not forget the extremely wealthy donors like the Koch brothers.  Since they donate an ass-ton amount of money, they also have a hand in helping PBS decide what you watch and what you don't watch.  When Ken Burns made his recent Vietnam documentary, he had to let the brothers privately screen it first.  Since wealthy donors come from different political points of view, the programs usually balance out any type of bias.  Usually.
     I could go further into this type of process of what PBS airs and the fact that local affiliates have some say in programming for their own local market demographic but I will not as I suspect you're snoring right now.  WAKE UP!!!  The Betty White special should air on Montana PBS sometime in November.  For now, I will patiently as we all did before instant gratification was invented.  Until then I shall dream about how to 'be more.'

MY TWO SHITS WORTH: EPISODE NINE

    

Six.  That's how many late night 'talk' shows are currently on the air right now.  I don't count the 'satirical news' shows or weekly shows because they are not celebrity focused.  Please don't let this fact be misconstrued as praise.  It's not.
     I find myself switching channels during these shows and hearing the same joke multiple times.  Lazy writing?  Partly to blame.  Perhaps what it is more at fault is the network's insistence on getting the 'easy' laugh, not the most original or witty one.  Ratings are 'the name of the game, boy' to paraphrase a line from a Pink Floyd song that a few have probably heard.  I will focus on two of the most popular late night hosts and their differing approaches to their shows.
     The most depressing example of the genre is "The Late Show With Stephen Colbert."  It debuted in the Fall of 2015 to mediocre ratings as Colbert pretty much did everything but play the music and sweep up after the show.  It was a cozy and modest affair and it got off to a promising start with a riveting interview with Joe Biden a few weeks into the program's run.  With both host and guest talking about learning from personal loss it was about as far from a knee slapper as you could get.  Colbert managed to weave comedy and real conversation together pretty seamlessly although his interviewing style left me a bit cold ("Nice to see you, 'ma'am or sir'.....we'll be right back.")  Unfortunately, this aspect has not improved.
     I was a huge fan of "The Colbert Report" and was so excited to see what he could bring to this time period.  Little did I know that about a year in to his run, CBS made him replace several top staff members of his show (some of them had been with him for over a decade; making the jump with him from Comedy Central to CBS) with Reliable Network Professionals.  The lunatics would not be taking over the asylum after all.
    Then came the Presidential Election of 2016.  It was pretty clear that Clinton would win.....until she didn't.  His Showtime Election Special was one of the most bizarre events I have ever witnessed.   When Trump was declared President, Colbert stood there dazed and confused.  Then he started drinking and babbling rather incoherently about what this would mean for our country.   The balloons meant for Hillary may still be stuck up in the Ed Sullivan Theater rafters for all I know.  One thing I do know for sure is since then, the Trump joke machine was turned on and up to full speed and hasn't relented.  Problem is, Mr. Trump usually comes up with his own dandy material on a little site called Twitter.
     By now, making President Trump jokes are the proverbial 'low hanging fruit.'  But Stephen's ratings are as strong as ever so the joke machine will keep running for now which is too bad. Colbert should have other things to discuss but now whenever a guest comes out, the first thing out of his mouth is something like: "So..... Trump....what do you think?"  Plus, his online presence (where James Corden and Jimmy Fallon keep picking up viewers) is minimal at best.
     Conan O'Brien (who will be shortening his program to 30 minutes in 2019) is still making obscure and silly non-Presidential jokes which makes his program much easier to digest.  He's been at it since 1993 (the longest tenure in late night) so I guess he has a leg up on the competition.  The show has regular segments like Clueless Gamer and visits from oddball characters in his audience.  Mr. O'Brien has made several specials where he travels to different countries to make friends with many of the locals in his own goofy and self deprecating style.  He also has his own website called teamcoco.com that includes some online exclusive content which is so important to fans today.   It's like political antacid.  And, oh, what a relief it is.

'IT'S A BRAND NEW LCD TV!!!'

     Only recently have I been reintroduced to daytime television after several years of frightening yet oddly comfortable employment.  I know that this landscape has changed quite a bit since their glory days during my childhood.  Game shows are mostly gone and the ones that still exist have eliminated contests of any discernible skills or knowledge and have de-evolved into chuckle fests hosted by former chuckle getters.  Soap operas were never really my scene but, except for a few oldies but goodies, they have evaporated into the ether faster than sands in the hourglass.
     What is left?  Not much, I guess.  Talk shows that were once hosted by Oprah and Phil have been replaced by chair throwing and trash talking hosted by people named Maury and Jerry.  The dry wit of Judge Wapner has been replaced by sassy gavel pounding finger wavers that are now mostly female (women of the world, is this really progress?)
     There are also several food and Doctor shows on the air too but sometimes it's difficult to tell who is who when they both tell you that defecating is a normal part of life and that a little kale in your diet wouldn't hurt.
     All of these shows should really be lumped into the 'reality' category because, as usual, they have no basis in actual real life along with their night time counterparts who engage in choreographed arguments, celebrity-lacking celebrity programs, talent-less talent shows and any type of program designed to trick you into thinking that ethics and morals never existed and the simple lie that if you use any profanity it will be bleeped out by some supernatural censor in the sky.
     When did 'we' become a people that can only feel good about ourselves by feeling that we are at least better than that guy or gal on the screen?
     Yes, most of these programs are on the major networks.   There are some surprisingly good shows on some cable channels but even the documentaries are starting to be over-run by insipid 'dramatic re-creations' of how something came to exist.  For example, it apparently was a ego contest that caused Lee Iacocca to try to out 'man' John DeLorean and his Pontiac GTO by creating the Ford Mustang in the 'swinging 60s.'  The fact that these two men created these cars all by themselves is just as preposterous as the notion that 'swinging' also had something to do with it.  Leave it to the History Channel to prove they can cater to the Lowest Common Denominator just as well as the big networks.
     If this is just all some subliminal salad designed to keep the general public stupid, fat and lazy than I believe you network programmers are vastly out-performing yourselves.  Well played.

UPDATE (7/22/18):  I have updated the title of this piece to reflect what I think the 'LCD' feature really means when manufacturers explain the type of television they are selling.

BRIEF THOUGHT

     Will the National Council of Churches and Bose ever band together to come up with a pair of decent sounding guilt-cancelling headphones?

REEL AMERICA

     Sometimes I depressurize on the weekends (for now, anyway) by tuning in to some irregularly scheduled programming on the various C-Span Channel and watch programs under the Reel America title.
     They can be very interesting and informative, especially the ones produced by the major network news divisions of the day.  The ones documenting the major upheaval and chaos of 1960s are of special interest to me as they break down the various opposing factions of different issues such as war, civil rights and student protests.  Of special note is the way these real citizens on both sides of a particular issue make their voices heard.....quietly yet distinctive and passionate.  No ghoulish sound bites or name calling.  Just hard thought opinions from real people going through some rather sensitive times in our country's history.
     Can it be that difficult to return to such civil discourse?  Only time and the way in which we choose to use the ever-changing technology will tell.  Just something to ponder with a few choice words written many years ago.  I do not own the rights to this film clip of David Strathairn beautifully embodying the pioneering journalist Edward R. Murrow.

R.I.P. TO THE LAST MAN ON EARTH

     Oh farts; I knew that this day was coming.  In fact, this article could have been written in tears two or three times.  "The Last Man Earth" was one of the most fascinating and innovative sitcoms ever on a broadcast network.  I'll be the first to admit that not all stories they tried worked but when they failed, they failed BIG TIME.  Will Forte was one of the most annoying but likable characters on TV.  As Phil Tandy Miller, Forte dialed down the gross-out humor and added a touch of the going-nowhere son from the 2013 quirky comedy-drama film "Nebraska."  To say that Tandy was socially awkward is quite the understatement.  All of the female cast members were certainly not made from the network comedy cookie-cutter department either .  Kristen Schaal as Phil's clingy and anal-retentive wife.  Mary Steenburgen as the recent widow who loves drinking wine while shooting zingers at the rest of the crew (okay, mostly just Tandy).  January Jones as the tough no-bullshit blonde bombshell who we find out later is suffering from mental illness.
     From the first couple episodes where Tandy goes from mansion to mansion trashing everything in sight except from the bare necessities (I almost to mention that this show took place in the near future where a virus had seemingly wiped out the world's population) and using their swimming pools as his personal makeshift toilet bowls to the later episodes where other survivors are revealed (and sometimes blown to bits), including Tandy's brother who is up in a space station when the virus breaks out.
     The show had 80s soap-opera like cliffhangers and dabbled in sci-fi but never dove in too deep; making sure laughter was the main ingredient.  The odd and fickle relationships between the members of 'the group' was the accelerator.  Their journey together as a forced family was what really made this wacky little world go around.  Alas, we'll probably never see the final destination.  I enjoyed the relative real-life pacing of the episodes along with the lack of  headache-inducing jump cuts, Red Bull enhanced rapid-fire dialogue and the welcome absence of tired documentary style camera work.  Thanks to FOX for letting this long strange trip go on for as long as it did.  Sunday nights will never be the same.

THE TRICYCLE DIARIES: VOLUME ONE

    

Yes, it's yet another beginning of what I hope will be a reoccurring feature on this blog focusing on my childhood.  And, no, I will neither confirm nor deny that these stories took place in the 1970s or 1980s.
     I was 5 years old in 1977 (oops) and lived in an old fashioned neighborhood in a small town that is still a part of a large state.  Geez, I hope I'm not hoping getting overtly candid here.  I get all red faced when other people do that.
     Anyway, we lived one block away from an Elementary School and a large public park and two blocks away from a Junior High School.  It was a great time to be alive with the forerunner of the current hipster, Jimmy Carter, as my President.  There were peanut shells all over our dear nation as an unabashed display of our excess.  Our family had a nice house with Cable TV that received almost 20 channels.  We were basically out of control and knew it but just didn't care.
     However, I had one 'hard and fast' rule that my parents made me promise to follow.  I could walk around the entire block on which we lived but could not cross the street in any direction.  I was landlocked and was not allowed to 'sail out to sea.'  The was a place located on a block between the Junior High School and Elementary School that I just had to visit.  All of the popular toddlers wanted to be seen there.  It was originally a neighborhood grocery store but by the time I was hip to the scene it was a combination candy store and game room.
     One day I was just sitting around learning how to add and subtract when my Mother asked if I'd like to go to this sugar coated mecca.  I just about spit out my Fruit Loops but ended up not doing that because I really liked Fruit Loops.  It was then my Mom lowered the boom on me and said I would be going with one of the neighbor's sons.  His name was Kevin and as much I hate to rhyme he was eleven.  This meant he might as well be Walter Brennan to my John Wayne.
     But this was not going to be a John Ford picture.  No sir; this was gonna be a groovy far out good time and I was definitely in!  Kevin came over a little later and we walked over the store.  I pretended that we were Sweathogs and that Mr. Woodman was after us.
     We Kevin opened to door to the place and I walked in, my mouth could not be open wider.  The store was everything I had imagined and as much I as I hate to rhyme it was so much more.   There was a jukebox! And a pinball machine!  Hell, this was the 1970s so there may have been more than one pinball machine!  There was also a table where some older kids who were hangin' and stuff.  The joint was hoppin' and then Kevin bought some candy for each of us.  My head was spinning at this point.  We hung out eating our candy and soaking in the atmosphere for about 20 minutes and then we headed back to our block.  This was just too much excitement for one fast living 5 year old and when I finally got home that afternoon, I feel asleep and woke up mid-Carson.  I think Buddy Hackett was the guest.  My Dad was always mad for The Hackett.

SUNDAYS WITH ALEC BALDWIN: MY REVIEW

    Okay.  This is going to be a bit uncomfortable.  The fact that a show like "Sundays With Alec Baldwin" is on the air anywhere (much less Big Bad ABC) is refreshing.  Both Charlie Rose and Tavis Smiley are doing time somewhere in the void because of recent sexual harassment charges so the fact that there is a forum showcasing people in arts, culture and sports is good news as the PBS replacements for the aforementioned men have been focused directly on politics and goodness knows we certainly need many more of those programs.
     The good:  Mr. Baldwin does get some good guests by judging by the pilot which aired after the Sunday Oscar telecast.  Jerry Seinfeld had some very interesting views on today's political correct environment and the #metoo movement.  He has previously stated that he will not perform at colleges anymore because students keep deconstructing every joke until they find something the may offend them.  SNL's Kate McKinnon was about as delightful as a current cast member can possibly be but I was simply bored by the end. Sorry.
     The bad:  These guests are obviously friends of Mr. Baldwin and of course you should put buddy butts in the seat next to you when your doing a pilot as it must calm the nerves but when both of the guests start turning tables and asking Baldwin about film roles and Trump impressions the interviews start to veer off the rails.
      So all in all, not a bad debut but I'm hoping the Marc Maron gets a chance to start taping his podcasts as he has a much more varied range of guests and a more childlike sense of wonder when interviewing people.  I'm giving the pilot of this series a B- but I still think it has potential for better things.

RHETORIC AS THE CAUSE OF DEATH

     I've been told to listen.  So I've listened. And listened.  And listened.  Now after pausing for immense reflection, I feel now is the time for my time to respond.  Each voice and its corresponding cause is straddling for pole position.  Wanting not only to be heard but respected and in some cases even feared.  The grasp for any type of power can be addictive and once you achieve it you may not want to ever lose it.
     Actions have consequences.  And now in this gilded age of social media so do words.  Sticks and stones may break one's bones but words may break one's will to live.  I believe that in adolescence we want to be liked or even loved.  We want to be accepted.  The urge to assimilate can be overwhelming.  Anyone that dares to march out of step with this urge is somehow deemed unworthy of our acceptance.  Praise is immediately spared.  Why?  Well, what will the others think?  Will my praise be spared if I don't spare praise of the ones who dare to differ from the agreed status quo?
     I believe these questions are the very beginning of the demise of happiness and harmony and the planting of the seeds of fear and paranoia and ultimately of destruction.  We are more fragile then we would care to admit and no one cares to freely announce their own shortcomings.  As we get older, the urge to assimilate begins to evaporate but I believe it does not disappear altogether.  That moment will arrive soon enough.  Meanwhile, we are supposed to become more understanding and more willing to look past the perceived flaws of others.  Being out of step is not supposed to be that important as long we still can become productive members of society.
     However, this progression appears to be actually regressing as of late.  Differences are being pointed out and more of us are learning how to refuse the natural order of progress and backslide into the process of assimilating again.  This is not tied to just one ideology either.  Both sides are desperately searching for their safe space again.  The ultimate safe space is the womb, isn't it?  And if one decides to travel the other direction, isn't the ultimate safe space is the great beyond?  Is meeting somewhere in between now considered taboo?   Is compromise the ultimate sin?
     Here is a quote that I hope will provide some comfort and just maybe some reconsideration:

     "A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not what ships are made for."
                                                   -John Augustus Shedd

KHAKIS AFLAME

     I just watched two music documentaries lately.  Yeah, I'm a real wild guy.  The first film was about the last five years of David Bowie's life.  They had some home video taken on his last World Tour in 2003 and showed him and his band at a Town Pump (kind of a trucker's 7-Eleven) somewhere in Montana playing one of the 'claw' machines with the stuffed animals inside.  This would be just about the last thing I would probably ever think of David Bowie doing (and not to mention the last State he would be doing it).

 
     Then I watched a documentary about the English band XTC.  I've loved this band for a long time but didn't know much about them as little has been written and they had just a cult following in the U.S.  Andy Partridge seems like a rather chatty bloke but a bit mercurial.  Colin Moulding seems like a quiet genius and Dave Gregory is very thoughtful and concise.  There were some other members of the band but their stays were rather brief.  For whatever reason, I just don't see any of these guys ever hanging out at a Town Pump on Montana playing a 'claw' machine.

     David Bowie's lyrics always seemed somewhat cryptic and a little dark to me whereas most XTC lyrics were direct and even a bit funny at times.  What makes someone continually act dishonest or be unabashedly truthful?  Is it their upbringing?  Their surroundings?  What makes someone impoverished be thankful for what little they have?  What makes someone who has everything still want more?   Alas, big answers seem to be elusive for such a simple mind.  I do know that I'm constantly amazed at what joy these musicians have given to me over the years, even though their approaches to the craft were very different.  Strange but true.

MY TWO SHITS WORTH: EPISODE EIGHT

     Here's a good one.  Kelly Monteith.  A stand up comedian by trade, he came to prominence (perhaps too strong a word) in 1970s, making several appearances on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and was part of the initial wave of observational comedians.  He also played all of the big Nevada casinos of the day.  He got 'noticed' by CBS who offered him a four-week summer replacement variety show in 1976.  His guests were Freddie Prinze, Vicki Lawrence, George Gobel and Gavin MacLeod.  He started making appearances on British talk shows too which led to him getting signed by the BBC to do his own series.
     He says that he pitched this type of show to American networks who flatly rejected him.  "The Kelly Monteith Show" was partially inspired by the old "The George Burns Show" where the main character would talk directly to the camera at certain points during the program.  Garry Shandling would also use this in his 1980s Showtime series.  The Brits ate it up and the show ran for six series (British for seasons) from 1979 to 1984.  During that time he also returned to CBS in 1980 for another four-week show called "No Holds Barred."  Described by many as a comic version of "60 Minutes", no one knew what to make of it (especially those tuning in expecting to watch "Kojak" reruns) and the show disappeared very quickly.
     After his BBC show ended Monteith returned to the states and continued his stand up career and made a few mostly forgettable TV and movie appearances.  His BBC show ran on the fledgling A&E Network in the early 80s (where I watched it as a child) but has also been mostly forgotten.  That's a shame because it was a very funny show and now his very funny Carson guests stints are now showing up on You Tube.  I highly recommend them and also recommend that the BBC get off their arses and put his old show on DVD.