MY CHRISTMAS WISH.

     I hope everyone has the happiest of holidays.  I also hope I'll be able to get the Buzzr network really soon!  More random verbiage to come.

ANOTHER RANDOM THOUGHT

     Can a reasonably good shampoo cost only 44 cents a bottle?  Let's drink some and find out!

WARNING LABELS ON PILL BOTTLES.

     No, this is not Andy Rooney rising from the dead to complain about something.  It's me this time.
I like it when one of the warnings say : 'May cause dizziness.'  MAY cause dizziness?  For what I pay, I demand not only dizziness but mind-altering hallucinations and delusions of grandeur as well.

YOU SAY 'HOPE.' I SAY THAT'S WHERE I'M GOING.

     One of my few moments of sheer joy and happiness is watching game shows because it brings me back to my days of childhood innocence.  When I was young game shows were all over daytime TV.  That's right kids;  no 'Baby Daddy' talk shows,  people masquerading as competent court judges or supposed 'soul baring' sessions with Dr. Phil.  Just real contestants and mostly B grade celebrities whose only objective was having fun.  Sounds downright quaint, eh?
     Well,  I've recently learned that the two breakout hits of last summer "$100,000 Pyramid" and "Match Game" have been renewed for a a second season with "Match Game" premiering on 1/4/17 along with the Anthony Anderson hosted "To Tell The Truth" that I have already not recommended for game show purists.  "Pyramid" will return whenever host Michael Strahan has a free moment from his other 37 hosting duties, one supposes.  Let the innocence return, if only for a few fleeting hours a week.  And if I'm asleep, make sure my blanket covers me.

RANDOM THOUGHT.

It's better to light a match than to curse the darkness.....especially after the defecating stench of yesterday's election.

TAKING A LONG AUTUMN'S REST.

It's been sometime since I've posted.  Time seems to be standing still even though I know it is forever passing me by.  I've been physically, mentally and spiritually ill for some time now and the cure has not been invented yet.  Baring my soul for the entire information superhighway to see (or not, truly your choice here) can't lift me up.  My tonic of choice right now is silence.  I hope you can understand.  

I AM A METRIC.

     Yes, you heard me.  I am a metric.  You may not know it yet but you are one as well.  Our entire time here on Earth is laid out in some sort of intricate binary patchwork.  We have identifications for several different things.  Of course, there is the all-seeing, all-knowing Social Security number here in the United States.  Your skill, behaviour and abilities are measured.  There is that foppish Briggs-Myers measurement.  There is unbridled joy in me when one metric seems to contradict another.  To use a popular term right now,  the head and the heart are 'fluid' organs (or mechanisms).
     Two plus two will always equal four but You and I will not always equal Us.  I suspect that is why a long and happy marriage always includes long and unhappy disagreements.  I wonder if, in the future, we will be rated by some sort of system regarding what we accomplished here on Earth.  For example,  Bob was a nice person but he ended up rating a 42.8.  Not exactly what we would call a coffee achiever.  Susan was an awesome force to be around.  However, she was very a unproductive member of society so she scores a 46.7.  Will human kindness be a part of the equation?  I wonder.

ECCENTRIC LUST TRAPEZOID.

     Sorry about the post title.  I couldn't think of anything succinct.  I've been very ill for the past six days but am on the mend.  I've done little else but stay at home, rest and just plain 'wang chung' a bit.....but only at night as the song made so clear to us.  I hope I can go back to work on Monday.  There is only so much daytime TV one human being can handle.  If it was 1979,  I wouldn't be saying that as there were fewer talk shows/human car wrecks and more game shows on the air.  I guess that's why the good Lord invented YouTube, right?  I still wish I had Buzzr, though.

MATCH GAME (2016)-MY REVIEW

     Seriously, how am I supposed to review something as nonsensical as "Match Game."  Excluding the rarely seen 1960's version which somehow lasted 7 years (Google it and try to stay awake),  all future versions have been famous for the extremely silly and somewhat adult-themed questions plus the antics of the celebrity panel that at times has resembled a group of malcontents that were just kicked out of a cocktail party.
     Most versions were hosted by former Tonight Show sidekick (this was pre-pre-Carson) Gene Rayburn.  Gene could be a sweetheart or a stinker depending on the day (or the taping of any given episode).  The famous 70's regulars of Charles Nelson Reilly, Brett Somers, Richard Dawson could always counted on for some hilarious and slightly lewd shenanigans.  This wasn't really a game show but rather a naughty junior high civics class with a truly bizarre substitute teacher at the helm.
     Well, guess what?  It still isn't really a game show, thank God!  Host Alec Baldwin is pretty much perfect with his 'whatever' attitude to pretty much everything.  He knows he's there to acknowledge the contestants, read the questions and tee up funny blurbs from the panel.  And that's it.
The panel celebs have been mostly great with a special nod to Jack McBrayer.  He really gets into that 'wacky 2nd taping of the day' mode we all miss from the glory years.
     I've noticed as the weeks have gone by that the questions have become a bit more naughty and Alex and the panel have had to been bleeped more than usual but I still enjoy the heck out of it.
    I highly recommend this new version but I don't think this would work as a daily strip.  There is too much of good thing these days but as a mid-season or summer replacement series, I'm there!

THE $100,000 PYRAMID (2016)-MY REVIEW

     The Pyramid has gone through several incarnations since debuting in 1973.  However, Dick Clark will probably be forever associated with the program as he hosted most of the versions (with varying denominations) from 1973 to 1988.  Clark set a rather laid back tone for the program.  This is evident in how many times the notoriously low-key Dick Cavett appeared as a celebrity guest on the show (quite a few).  The oldest living teenager also was very involved when it came time for the big money round.  He always had a few extra clues for all six categories and gave them quite freely once the 60 seconds were up. 
     The most recent version of the show popped up on GSN in 2012.  Hosted by Mike Richards, who was partly responsible for turning "The Price Is Right" into a god awful mess, this remake could have been great if the producers had picked celebrity guests who had some prior knowledge about ACTUALLY PLAYING THE GAME!  GSN went for ratings over game quality and lost.
    The 2016 edition is vastly better as there very smart celebrity players (Rosie O'Donnell, Mario Cantone, Terry Crews, etc.) and the host (Michael Strahan) happens to be a die-hard Pyramid fan.  Strahan knows the flow of the program very well and doesn't step on anyone's toes.  The rules are basically the same as the classic versions of the 70's and 80's and the show has room to be a little looser on small talk (probably because of limited commercial interruption) whereas the 2012 version felt rushed because of GSN stuffing in 8 minutes of ads.
     I think the 2016 Pyramid is great and would even make a good five day a week alternative to the needlessly vulgar "Family Feud" with Steve Harvey.  I say let the challenge begin!

COMING SOON.....AND A BIT LATE.

     I do have some thoughts about the new versions of "The $100,000 Pyramid" and "Match Game" and I will have those ready for you soon.  I promise.  A hint: Both will be rather positive.

ABOUT SHORT AND SOUR.

     That last post was a bit of an experiment.  I suspect the reader would think I was distraught over something and therefore was lashing out because of it.  Actually, the first sentence was real to me.  I have heard and seen so much indecency this past week that I really felt that way.  The second sentence was complete nonsense but it seemed like a very angry response.  It was almost like I was trying on a suit that was one size too large.  But it was real in the sense that I do feel like there is too much shouting going on and not enough listening.  And, in my experience, a lot of listening happens when people are seated at tables.  That's all.

SHORT AND SOUR.

I was going to take the high road but found out it was washed away by a flood of indecency.  Please come back to the table when you're actually ready to sit down at the table.

AN UPDATE AND AN APOLOGY.

     In my last post, I was so busy lamenting the absence of a Best Comedy Series Nominee for "Last Man On Earth" that I forgot to mention that Will Forte was indeed nominated for Best Actor in a Comedy Series on that show.  Congratulations Mr. Forte!  And sorry about my snub!  Carry on.

A LITTLE DITTY 'BOUT AN EMMY SNUB.

     I understand why some people and shows did not receive Emmy nominations.  Stephen Colbert is an extremely talented performer but I have yet to see much evidence of this on his late night talk show.  He recently told his audience a funny and heartwarming tale of the first time he met what is now his wife.  Problem is, it wasn't on any show.  It was Colbert answering an audience member's question during a pre-show crowd warm up session.  Fans of his previous show have been waiting to see and hear the real Stephen Colbert but, for some strange reason, we are only allowed brief glimpses here and there on his current show.
     However, the snub I am referring to is Fox's "Last Man On Earth."  Starring Will Forte, it takes place a few years after a horrible virus has destroyed the entire population except Forte's Phil Tandy.....or maybe not.  I never know what's going to happen next and sometimes its hilarious and sometimes its sad.  But never, ever boring.  What I do know is that there's nothing else like it on television right now.  But guess what?  It's not shocking.  It's not even close to provocative.  It's certainly not vulgar, unless you count a couple dozen 'Oh Farts!' being uttered every season.  And therein lies the rub and thus the snub.
     What show or actor (or writer) do think got snubbed by Mr. Emmy this year?

IT WAS 13 YEARS AGO TODAY....

     It was thirteen years ago today that I finally (at age 31) entered my 1st and (so far) only LTR with someone.  I'm talking about a Long Term Relationship (which was also long distance) here.  Bonus points for anyone who knows if 4 months actually counts as a LTR.  Even more baffling to me, we were friends for around 6 months about 2 years earlier.  Even though the courting came to an abrupt end (I believe I was, and still am, the guilty party), it was a euphoric experience that I will never forget.  My heartbeat actually had a different type of rhythm during that stretch of time.  No lie.

BINGE. PURGE. REGRET.

     I don't know if it was Don King who coined the term 'Only In America!', but the man sure said it quite often.  This phrase could also be used to describe this country's strange fascination in doing things that we know aren't healthy but still do them in the hopes of fitting in with the trendy crowd.  It seems that for some of us, peer pressure doesn't really end until you're dead.  And even then, you might be ostracized from the afterlife if you're not buried exactly six feet under like everyone else.
     If you're a TV watcher and especially if you're a Netflix subscriber, the really popular thing is to 'binge watch' your favorite TV programs.  I guess you could also 'binge' on a program you couldn't stand but I really don't see the point.  Netflix and other similar services will make all episodes of a certain program available for viewing at one time.  This means a person could spend (or waste) a dozen or so hours watching all episodes of their favorite show at once.  I could rationally see someone doing this if they were stuck indoors because of a blizzard or some other reason that you couldn't leave the house.  Being ill would also seem acceptable here.  But anything else?  Choosing to ignore your spouse and/or kids?  Choosing to procrastinate cleaning your 'something'?  Choosing to back out of some previously scheduled 'anything'?  I see an unwise pattern developing.
     Personally,  I don't belong to any of these types of subscription services but I have bought box sets of an entire six season series.  Even then, I can only watch two or three episodes before I'm 'episodically exhausted' and feel the need to move on to some other form of activity.  That thing I said before about moderation.....I meant that!  Is a human being doing something sensible now akin to Superman freebasing Kryptonite?
     I know that the days of standing around the watercooler at work and chatting about the previous evening's episode of "Knot's Landing" are gone but I'll always be one to believe that common sense never goes out of style.

THEY SAY YOU NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST: A PRELUDE TO MY TWO SHITS WORTH

     It was the Summer of 1983 and our family decided to take a trip to Yellowstone National Park.  Even then as an 11 year old boy, I knew it was completely insane to try to take a picture of yourself right next to an antelope or invite a bear into your station wagon to dry off from a nasty summer rainstorm.  Still, we all wanted to at least observe some animals in their natural habitat.  And so we went.
     On the first night, our family stayed in some trash can masquerading as a motel.   While everyone else was tired and went to bed early,  I stayed up scanning the motels' TV set to see if there were any channels they got and our sleepily out of touch town didn't get.  Now you're probably thinking to yourself, 'this prepubescent lump is searching for the channels with the naked people making the flippy-floppy.'  And you would be wrong.  As a young music fan,  I was searching for something called MTV.  This was when they played music videos 24/7.  The network actually started out on rural cable lineups first to test the waters before expanding to the larger cities.  Believe it or not, my hometown would not get MTV on cable until around 1995.  By that time, the party was OVER!
     But in 1983, it was still paradise for a wide-eyed American pre-teen.  After watching videos for about two hours, I went to bed as well.  The next morning as everyone was getting ready to go over to the motel coffee shop for breakfast, I faked a stomach ache to get out of eating.  As soon as my family was safely out of sight, I hopped into bed and turned the set back on to MTV again.  It was great!  No one could bother me with their gargling or hair dryers.  Just music.....with pictures!
    And then something happened and I would never be the same again.  A music video a brand new song called "One Thing Leads To Another" by a band called The Fixx appeared on the screen.  What was this strange but danceable sound I was hearing?  What were these bizarre images I was seeing?  Why was there a man walking down a large tube making weird hand gestures while dogs seemed to be chasing him?  I had never see anything remotely like it.  But something about it immediately appealed to me.  This band appeared to be from another planet as far as I was concerned.  Even in 1983,  I felt like I was from another planet. An anomaly.  Maybe that was the connection.
     As the following months turned into years and then into decades,  this 11 year old trapped in a 44 year old's body is still very much in love with the music The Fixx are making.  I think I have every song they've recorded.  If not, I know I have at least HEARD every song they've recorded by visiting their official site, fansites and YouTube.  Their classic 1980s music is a time capsule of what was happening in the world, especially the idea of a possible World War III with nuclear ramifications.  Their lyrics told me it was okay to be afraid of this possibility but also to speak your mind if you didn't like what was happening around you and that it was your birthright to question authority.  I still have this mindset today even though my priorities have changed a bit.  I can't say this for sure, but I'm willing to bet that the kids my age who have been listening to Def Leppard all this time can't make these type of claims.
     By the way, I finally did make some time to see some awesome animals that Summer!
    

WE BELIEVE IN MODERATION.....BUT ONLY IN EXCESS.

     Everything I've seen and read in the past week seems to point to the absurd but sadly appropriate title of this latest post.  I'm afraid I'm not exempt from it either but am really trying to do better.  On a much lighter note, I hope all Fathers (a category of that I do not belong) have a lovely Father's Day.

MY 'TO TELL THE TRUTH' REVIEW.

     Just for the record, this review is for the 2016 version.  I could tell I was not going to be impressed when host Anthony Anderson and panelist Mike Tyson started yelling (playfully) at each other about something completely unrelated to the game.  The first group of stumpers on this episode were three people who each claimed to be championship eaters.  Panelist Jalen Rose jokingly asked one of the three contestants if they had ever eaten an ear.  Mr. Tyson piped up to say, "An ear doesn't taste good.  It tastes like ass!"  The studio audience roared with laughter (as they did when anyone said anything even mildly amusing).  Poor Betty White (who apparently was there as a panelist for tradition's sake) forced a strained smile. This reviewer turned off the TV and picked up a good book. 

A POSSIBLE REPSONSE TO THE CONCERNS OF A SLOWLY DYING REASONING HUMAN BEING.

     Recently I was asked if I had any solutions to the issues I had presented on my post on 6/1/16.  I can't say that I'm that intelligent but in light of the recent events in Orlando,  I keep thinking of a line from a well known song and so here it is:

'.....love's such an old fashioned word and love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night and love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves.....'

(Words and music by Queen and David Bowie)

UNTITLED

Cry me a river so I can float out to sea.

CONCERNS OF A SLOWLY DYING REASONING HUMAN BEING.

     It's everywhere.  The breakdown of civil discourse.  The rise of righteous indignation.  What makes a human behave the way they do?  I have no idea.  But I wonder why knowledge and the search for knowledge is treated like a liability and not an asset?  It's strange to me how violence has become so commonplace that most people tend to ignore it unless it directly relates to their own little bubble in which they live.  For many years, critically lauded films like "The Exorcist" and "Straw Dogs" were banned in Great Britain because of their violent content.  Here in the free world, the appetite for destruction has never waned and, in fact, keeps growing.  I was a young child at the dawn of home gaming systems when your so-called enemies were merely dots on an otherwise pitch black screen.  Today, video games are striving to be more and more realistically violent.  Why? What does it really matter?  Does seeing that silver bullet piercing and then ripping through someones' virtual but bloody body make a difference on how many points you receive versus how many points you would receive if these lifelike vessels where nothing more than the dots I had previously mentioned?
     I find it odd how so-called reality television has taken over the increasingly depressing airwaves.  Couples bickering about what house is better worth their $375,000 when very real people are wondering where they will be sleeping tonight.  Housewives trying to outdo each other in worldly possessions when very real people are struggling to find their place in the world.  Is this really escapism?  Is it voyeurism?  Again, I have no idea. 
     I know this pondering is unlike my previous posts but it really does have a connection to my previous and seemingly irrelevant ramblings.  The game shows of my youth were strictly for fun.  Maybe you won a few thousand dollars in cash and/or prizes.  Maybe you had the chance to meet someone somewhat famous.  Maybe you had a decent time as a winner or even a loser.  Maybe the show host looked and acted a bit fake but was nice to you anyway.  All this is just not enough today.
     Today's shows are strictly an all or nothing situation.  No parting gifts if you lose.  The newer hosts are mostly comedians who are more concerned about their performance and less concerned about the actual contestants or the few rules of the show.  The stakes are so high and/or ridiculous, it's a wonder that the contestant doesn't have a myocardial infarction right there on stage.  This is fun?  This is entertainment?  Does everything have to be morphed into the 'Bigger Better Faster More' mindset?  Do we really need everything coming at us at mind-boggling lightning speeds?
Speaking as someone with a very small but concerned voice,  I sincerely hope not.

A LITTLE REDUNDANT (VOLUME 1, PART 2: I ENJOY GAME SHOWS)

    ABC is trying to make me happy again.  The long-rumored resurrection of the long running game show "To Tell The Truth" is finally happening.  The six episodes, which were taped in July 2015, will finally air starting on Tuesday, June 14th at 9PM (Mountain Time).  Betty White will appear again as a panelist.  Actor Anthony Anderson will host.  The number of past episodes is not known but must be at least in the thousands as the show has aired both in daytime and prime time.  I know that quiz show staples need to be updated from time to time but I hope the suits don't go overboard here.  Here's hoping!

A LITTLE ABOUT ME (VOLUME 1: I ENJOY GAME SHOWS)

     I am a lifelong fanatic of American Game Shows.  I actually learned how to tell time by knowing that The Joker's Wild started at 10am, The New Price Is Right at 10:30am, and Gambit at 11:00am (This IS circa 1974).  By the way, The New Price Is Right is the 2nd version of this show as the 1st incarnation was a radically different and more relaxed version hosted by who I consider to be the game show host in radio or TV: Bill Cullen.  This version lasted from 1956-1965.  Check out some shows on YouTube!
    There are 4 classic game shows that will be on ABC's summer schedule.  Each show will have a 10 week run.
    The 1st will be the bonafide classic "To Tell The Truth."  This game has already spent 25 years on TV on network and syndication.  I have an interesting story to tell about how shows were syndicated before satellite uplinks but you'll have to come back for that scandalous tale later.  The current host of this version will be Anthony Anderson (Law & Order, The Barbershop Movies).  He is a comedic and dramatic actor and NOT a stand up comedian.  Stand up comedians for game shows are vastly overrated (see: Steve Harvey on "Family Feud").  These episodes were taped in the Summer of 2015.  This one starts on Tuesday June 14th at 10 ET.
    The 2nd will be the fill in the blank favorite "Match Game."  And, no, Gene Rayburn (God bless his soul) will not presiding over the festivities. But Alec Baldwin will be the host and I think it could be a very good choice as he can be very goofy but also very deadpan and a tad intimidating.  This version as well as the 2 others below will begin on Sunday June 26th at 10 ET.
    The 3rd program will be a revival of "Pyramid."  Pyramid without Dick Clark will always seem strange and there have been at least 2 pilots taped with Andy Richter in the last 5 years so who knows what clicks.  Currently being crucified by Kelly Ripa, Michael Strahan will hosting this version.
    The last and least surprising show hitting prime time is "Celebrity Family Feud" with Steve Harvey.  To say Mr. Harvey is suffering from overexposure is a gross understatement.  He has the daytime "Feud" showing at some point during the day and night on every other channel, his morning talk show, "Little Big Shots" and several other TV and radio ventures.  I present the following sales pitch to Mr. Harvey free of charge.  He should partner with a large hospital company and make a video(or app) called 'So you finally havin' that colonoscopy, huh?  Brother, it gonna be a mess but you be sleepin' so don't worry, son" (canned laughter with whooping and wailing all throughout.)
    What is a bit strange is that all 4 shows will be in hour formats.  I hope they show 2 full games per hour and not stretch things out to 60 minutes like that poor "Million Dollar Password" trainwreck back in 2008.
     Above all else, these shows will need to be fun and not add new rules like hitting the loser over the head with an anvil.  I understand that these shows need to appeal to a certain demographic so Tara Reid showing up in a halter top on "Pyramid"  would not surprise me but a show like this needs to have celebrities who posess good problem solving skills.  Hey, this ain't "Deal Or No Deal."
     I'll be watching.  How about you?

WELCOME.

More to come.  I think.